she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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