Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
