oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
