Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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