your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
