I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
