I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
