Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
