today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
