im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
