He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I need moral support for this bender
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
