no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
