My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
