Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
