you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
