so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
