The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I deserve this hangover.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
