I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
