dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
it's like iHOP with fire
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
