She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
