I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
