please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
