Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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