Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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