On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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