What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
