you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We need a shit load of segways right now
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
