Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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