Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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