I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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