Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
