okay pat passed out under dana's car
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Success! We fucked roommates!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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