Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
you never un-have a 4some
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
