dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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