My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Every concussion has its silver lining
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
