Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
