Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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