And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You pole danced in your parka.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Randomize
