i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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