David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
