tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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