I wish I could punch you in the face.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
