We're facebook friends in real life
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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