it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
