We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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