She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
