in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i was born a porn star she said
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
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