Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
i think i just lost a toe
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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