That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
