It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Randomize
