she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
