God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
your room smells of hookers.
And success
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
