Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
