I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
