I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
