So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
