I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
