I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
