I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
