just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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