Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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